


the space we share (is big enough for both of us)

by punkjuggie



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkjuggie/pseuds/punkjuggie
Summary: "I need to sleep next to Dennis."ORFive times Mac sleeps next to Dennis and one time he doesn't.





	the space we share (is big enough for both of us)

**Author's Note:**

> written for day 1 of macdennis week; favorite quote. Warning for canon typical language and internalized homophobia.

i.

 

“Wait, Charlie thinks UPenn is outside of Philly?” Dennis asks, sifting through his drawer for a shirt. 

 

Mac is painfully aware that his friend is currently shirtless in the middle of the tiny dorm room he was assigned. He tries to not to stare at the pale skin exposed before him and instead turns his attention to the small desk pushed against the wall. 

 

“Yeah, he doesn’t understand that Pennsylvania is like, the state we live in. He’s got himself convinced that it’s a faraway place where bad shit happens,” Mac explains, shaking his head. “The kid really needs to open up a book and stop huffing glue, man.”

 

Dennis chuckles and Mac looks up, watching him put an old shirt on, a shirt he recognizes from their high school days. Mac misses those days. Most days though, he just misses Dennis. 

 

“So what’s the deal?” Mac asks, glancing around the room. He’s been here for a little more than half an hour and didn’t ask, but the single bed in the room unnerves him. “I thought you had a roommate. What happened to him?” 

 

Dennis sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We had a little...argument. I threw his laptop across the wall. He didn’t take it well.”

 

Mac’s eyes widen up. “Jesus Christ, Dennis.” 

 

Dennis simply shrugs as he sits down on the bed. “We came to a compromise. Administration got him a new roommate and they switched me to a single room accommodation. It’s a pretty sweet deal, actually.” He lies down on the bed, his arms folded behind his head. “More privacy.”

 

Mac frowns. “So where am I gonna sleep dude?” 

 

Dennis tilts his head as he gestures to the bed. “I have a very comfortable bed right here, man. And there is enough space for two persons, believe me,” he grins, that creepy smile he does when he tells Mac about his latest conquest, “I’ve tested it. Like I said, more privacy.” 

 

Mac is still unsure. It looks like a tight squeeze and Mac is much more larger than any girl Dennis could’ve brought back to his room. 

 

“Stop thinking so hard about it and get in,” Dennis says, getting impatient. “Or don’t and sleep on the floor, I don’t care! Just make sure you hit the lights because I’m not getting up.”

 

Mac eyes the carpeted floor and its many stains. His back is still stiff from falling asleep on Charlie’s couch the week before, so he thinks maybe the floor isn’t the best idea. He turns off the lights and begrudgingly slips under the covers next to Dennis. 

 

“Just, don’t make it gay,” he says in the darkness. He can’t see Dennis roll his eyes. 

 

“That’s rich,” Dennis mumbles and Mac pretends he didn’t hear. 

 

He cannot pretend, however, that he doesn’t like the closeness or that sleeping next to Dennis doesn’t feel natural and  _ right _ . 

 

(It ends up being a tight squeeze and that’s the only reason Mac wakes up with Dennis pressed up against him. It’s also the reason why he doesn’t move away and lets his arm rest against Dennis’ body. It’s not cuddling if it’s from lack of space.) 

  
  


ii.

 

“Dennis?” Mac asks quietly.

  
  


The room is dark, the only light coming from the TV where the end credits are rolling down the screen.

 

Movie nights are familiar. It’s really a ritual by now, after all this time. This though, Dennis’ head resting on Mac’s shoulder, this is new.

Mac reckons he should have seen it coming. He’s noticed how pale Dennis has been looking lately, contrasting the dark circles under his eyes that he doesn’t even bother covering up with concealer anymore. Mac hears him at night, when he closes the cabinet’s door too loudly in the bathroom or when he mutters nonsense to himself in the kitchen.

 

He’s also getting thin, thinner than ever before and Mac worries about him. He tries to be subtle about it though. He pretends he can’t finish his pancakes and pushes the plate towards Dennis. The days he’s not riding to work with Dennis, he gets cheesesteaks before going to the bar. At night, he tells Dennis he feels like eating salad even if he hates it just so they go out and get dinner. It’s not much, but at least Mac is sure Dennis is eating. 

 

Mac wonders if he should wake him up. On one hand, he knows that if they spend the night on the couch, they’ll both regret it in the morning. On the other hand, Dennis is  _ finally  _ sleeping and Mac is afraid that if he wakes him up, he’ll be up again all night. 

 

He’s still silently debating his next move when he hears Dennis snore. It’s a soft little sound, one that Mac never even noticed before, and it makes him smile. He knows if he brings it up, Dennis will deny it, furious that Mac even dared insinuate such a thing. 

 

Mac closes his eyes as he listens to Dennis’ snores and before he even knows it, he’s falling asleep, his head resting against Dennis’. 

 

(They wake up the next morning with sore necks and kinks in their backs. Dennis grumbles about Mac letting them fall asleep in front of the TV. Mac is smart. He doesn’t bring up the snores.)

 

iii. 

 

“Can you believe Charlie pissed in my bed?” Dennis hissed, slamming Mac’s door shut. 

 

“Yeah dude, he drank like 24 beers. It was gonna happen sooner or later, that’s why I told him to sleep on the couch,” Mac says. He sees Dennis pulling back the covers and getting in his bed. “Speaking of the couch, why don’t you just sleep in the living room again?”

 

Dennis sighs. “Because, Mac, I am the victim here. My bed is soaked with piss. I shouldn’t be the one who has to sleep on the couch.”

 

Mac doesn’t say anything. He can see Dennis’ point but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. His mind keeps flashing back to that night he visited Dennis in college and they had to share a bed. He keeps thinking about how close they had been. Well, the bed is bigger now. 

 

“Mac,” Dennis says and Mac jumps a little. He thinks maybe Dennis has been reading his mind. He hopes not. “Don’t think too hard about this. We’re blood brothers, right?” 

 

Right. Mac nods and he climbs silently into bed, next to Dennis. He hates the way his heart flutters at the idea of waking up next to him. It makes him feel nauseous. 

 

“Hey,” Dennis whispers and Mac turns on his side to look at him. “Back in high school, when you sold me weed the first time, did you ever think we’d ever end up here?” 

 

Mac gulps. “Here like, in bed together?” 

 

“No, dumbass. Just, you know. Living together and owning a bar with Charlie. After all this time,” Dennis says and Mac can’t be too sure, but he thinks Dennis sounds nostalgic. 

 

Mac shakes his head. “No dude, how could I have known?” 

 

Dennis shrugs. “Funny how life turns out sometimes,” he muses. 

 

There is a stretch of silence where Mac thinks maybe Dennis fell asleep. “Hey,” he whispers and he feels Dennis move in the bed. “Do you regret it? Buying weed from me and ending up here with me?” 

 

Dennis doesn’t answer right away. Mac bites down on his lip as he anxiously awaits his answer. Maybe he did fall asleep. 

 

“No,” he replies finally. “I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.” 

 

Mac sighs happily, satisfied with the answer. 

 

(When he closes his eyes, welcoming sleep, his heart is still fluttering but this time, it doesn’t make him sick.)

  
iv. 

 

“Marrying Maureen was really a huge mistake,” Dennis admits into the dark. 

 

They’re both lying down on the office’s floor, each wrapped in a sleeping bag. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s still better than staying at Charlie’s. The office is cramped though, and Mac can feel Dennis’ leg against his own through the thin material of his sleeping bag. 

 

“Yeah, no shit,” Mac groans. It’s his second night sleeping in the bar and he ought to be furious at Dennis. Instead, he’s comforted by Dennis’ presence next to him. It’s nice to be with him, even if it’s on the bar’s disgusting floor. “Why’d you do it?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Dennis says, his voice quiet, the way it so rarely is. “I just thought that was the logical next step for me. I wanted to feel as good as I felt when I was fourteen.”

 

“Dude, if you wanted to feel like when you were fourteen, you should’ve told me!” Mac says and suddenly reaches out to slap Dennis’ shoulders excitedly. “We could’ve gone camping like that one summer, right? Remember when Charlie was convinced he could talk with the birds and Dee’s hair caught fire. Those were good times too!” 

 

“Mac, I remember the fire going out during the night and almost dying from the cold,” Dennis deadpans and Mac frowns. 

 

“Are you sure this happened?” 

 

“Yeah! We had to huddle for warmth because all we had was shitty sleeping bags,” he pauses, looking down at himself. “A lot like the ones we have now, actually.”   
  


“That’s perfect, we can pretend we’re camping again! See, you don’t need Maureen when you have me,” he says and then blushes when he realizes what he just said. “I mean the gang. When you have the gang.” 

 

Dennis hums and Mac might be imagining it, but he thinks he feels Dennis shifts his leg even closer to his. 

 

“Maybe you’re right,” he says. “I don’t need Maureen. I’ve got you and the gang.” 

 

They don’t say anything else, too exhausted after spending 15 hours in that strip club and getting kicked out of their place. They fall asleep in their sleeping bags, on the floor and somehow, it still feels like home. 

 

(When Mac dreams that night, he’s in a tent in a wooded area, somewhere in Philadelphia. The cold is biting at his skin and he’s shivering underneath the flimsy material. Then suddenly, a body is pressing up against him, a body he knows by heart and its warmth is familiar. Afterward, he sleeps a little better.)

  
  


v.

 

“Is it cheating if she doesn’t sleep in the bed with us?” Mac asks, unsettled by the gaping space in the middle of the bed where Dee is supposed to be. “Because Frank did say we had to do it for a whole year but now we’re down to 364 days if she doesn’t sleep in here tonight.”

 

Old Black Man groans somewhere down the bed. Dennis sighs. “Mac, who cares. Frank’s not gonna find out. I’m glad we have one less person in this fucking bed for once. So please, just shut the fuck up and go to sleep.” 

 

Mac stays silent but not for long. He’s thinking too much. “I mean, does it mean we’ll have to take it back at the end and sleep one more day just because the bitch decided to be selfish and skip out?” 

 

“No, Mac! That means that we’re lucky enough to have her out of our hair for once. So can you enjoy it without making a big deal out of this?” 

 

“It’s just that it’s weird without her. Now we’re just three men sharing a bed. Doesn’t it seem kind of gay?” 

 

Dennis groans but it’s muffled by the pillow. Old Black Man doesn’t make a sound. Maybe he’s dead. 

 

“Mac, we’ve shared a bed countless times before and it’s never been gay. Have you woken up with a dick up your ass even once?” Dennis asks. 

 

Mac tenses and then shakes his head. Nothing physical ever happened but the impure thoughts seem to be getting stronger every time. The worst part is that Mac doesn’t even mind them that much anymore. He figures they’re just a part of him. 

 

“Well then, nothing gay will happen unless you make it happen. Are we clear on this? Can we stop with this whole ‘this seems gay’ bullshit?” 

 

“Yeah,” Mac mumbles. 

 

Dennis sighs again and his body relaxes. “Good.” 

 

Mac opens up his mouth to say something and closes it almost immediately. Something’s been weighing on him and he thinks that with Dee gone for the night, this might be the perfect opportunity. “Hey Dennis,” he says, finally, when he’s gathered up enough courage. “You don’t have a problem with people being gay, right?”

 

“No, I don’t, because I wasn’t brainwashed by a religion,” he says and his words sting but Mac let it go, saving this battle for another time. 

 

“So, if hypothetically, I were to be gay, we would still be friends?” Mac hates how unsteady his voice sounds and how his hands tremble with every word. “We would still be roommates and it wouldn’t be weird? You wouldn’t hate me?” 

 

Mac knows that Dennis is facing him now, searching for his eyes. Mac closes them. 

 

“Mac, if anything I would be relieved, and so would you. You’d be so much happier if you were true to yourself.” 

 

Mac keeps his eyes closed, that way he can pretend he’s asleep and blame his subconscious for shifting towards the middle. He can also pretend he’s dreaming when he feels Dennis getting closer, when he feels Dennis’ fingers through his hair. 

 

He whispers a  _ thank you  _ anyway because Dennis showed a kindness Mac had not seen from him in years. Dennis doesn’t say anything else but Mac knows he heard him when he feels a kiss being pressed to his forehead. 

 

(It’s ironic how they’ve got space to sleep for the first time in months, and yet they’re both huddled close in the middle of the bed. Dammit Dee.)

 

+1

 

When Mac gets back to the apartment after they blow up the range rover, he finds most of Dennis’ belongings gone. It’s crazy how he spent months trying to fill up the place the way it used to be and now that’s all furnished, it seems emptier than ever. 

 

He feels numb as he walks towards the bedroom and takes off his clothes. He’s very aware that the only ones who’s slept in the bed so far are Mandy and her son. He knows that if he lies down, the pillows won’t smell like Dennis. 

 

Mac briefly flirts with the idea of going to Dee’s for the night. 

 

He walks to his dresser and begins throwing out the clothes, one after the other. There’s nothing to remind him of Dennis because he didn’t even have a chance to unpack before he was gone again. 

 

Mac thinks about going to sleep next to the Asspounder 4000. 

 

Instead, he goes to the kitchen to pick up a bottle of vodka Dennis had bought. At least he didn’t bring the alcohol with him in North Dakota. That would’ve been a real shame. 

 

Mac thinks that if he’s going to sleep in that bed, he’d rather do it drunk. 

 

(He ends up drinking almost half the bottle of vodka and passes out on the bathroom floor, next to the toilet. He’s got no one to help him out of that jam, he thinks bitterly. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he drags himself to Dennis’ old room and finally collapses on the bed. He finds out that when he closes his eyes, he can pretend Dennis is sleeping next to him.)


End file.
